Happy Birthday! Let’s Have Sex.

23Dec09

“Hey, happy birthday!”

“Thanks.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing much. Relaxed, went out to dinner. You know, nothing major.”

“Did you get any birthday sex?”

“Yes. Yes I did.”

“Awesome.”

Birthdays no longer seem to be a day to celebrate another year blessed to be alive but now a day to celebrate having sex.

If you are involved with someone then it makes sense that time spent with that person on your special day could potentially result in some dick-in-pussy play. This however is guaranteed dick or pussy (if it is not, it should be, from birthday to casket day, and all days in between). For those however who are single, birthday sex might be that one day where someone decides that the best present they can give you is free access to their pleasure hole or stick.

Now if you are an attractive man or woman who on the regular have potentials lining up to sample your goods, then getting birthday sex will be an easy feat. You will not have to seek it; it of course will obviously come to you, no matter how subtle or overt the offer may be. This of course gives you the right to refuse or accept the offer (being attractive affords you that luxury).

If you lack the prospects on an everyday basis, chances are you will lack those prospects on your birthday too. It is not to say that you cannot get any birthday sex. There are some people who live by the birthday sex creed and as such there will always be people around who are willing to share themselves in order to keep up with the holy tradition.

(For some others, attractive or not, birthday sex is no big deal and if it happens it happens. If it does not oh well. Just another day anyway, right?)

Birthday sex seems to be most important to people who are in high school/college or single older men and women. Hormones are raging in both groups but in different ways. For some teens and young adults, being sexually involved, popular and adventurous is part of growing up. Being horny and wanting sex is natural and almost a sure thing any day and especially on your birthday. Everyone is celebrating with you, there are flowers and unicorns and you are just having a grand old time. For some older men and women who are single (and by older we are referring to whatever age you start to feel old, experience joint pain or just look like time is creeping away from you), birthday sex seems to be desired not only for that ‘treat me like a whore’ feeling, but also for the self-assurance that their sexual skills have not reverted into awkward positions and to know they are still desired.

With that being said, birthday sex is attainable and can be quite fun. If your special day is coming up, here are some ways to almost guarantee you get some on your birthday:

•Go out and party. You are most likely going to run into someone new. That one night stand just may be the birthday sex of a lifetime.
•Call up a friend of the opposite sex. If you are cool enough with that friend where they could potentially be your sex buddy, then why not have them be your treat on your birthday.
•Have a sex party. Your birthday party could simultaneously be a sex party where everyone gets to share in your birthday fun.
•Masturbate. No one said there had to be other people involved. And contrary to popular belief pleasuring yourself on your birthday does not equate to being lonely or being unable to find someone; you may just enjoy your time alone and no one can do you like you can right? Good. (You can thank me for the pep talk later).

Birthday sex is not really a big deal. You should be able to have sex whenever you want and it is unlikely that getting some on your birthday will be different then getting some the day before or after: it should feel good regardless. (Unless some type of super powers are being handed out to you and the person you are having sex with only on your birthday, but that is mostly likely not going to happen so…yeah.)

Happy Sexing!

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Tags: birthday, celebration, party, presents, Sex